Self Sabotage: The “Shiny Object Syndrome”

self-sabotage-shiny-object-syndromeI was listening to a webinar last year and learned about what was termed, the "shiny object syndrome."  I do not remember who was conducting the webiner, but I believe it was Maria Gudellis.  I also believe she was quoting someone else.

Regardless, it was a great lesson on focus.

The shiny object syndrome is about being so excited about deciding to venture out on your own in business, perhaps working from home, and you are undecided on what exactly it is you want to DO in business.

This indecision is where it starts.

Then, you start seeking guidance and join webinars and go to seminars and get exciting new courses and join coaching groups to learn, learn, learn.

women-entrepreneurs-multi-task-overwhelmThen, you begin to work one of the programs you are so excited about and there is a lot of time and effort you put into the program.  Then, it starts to get hard and overwhelming and you begin to slack off the action items on your calendar.

You get distracted and begin checking your email before you start your action items for the day.  You know you need to move through your program more, you see an email that takes you to a link and you begin to listen to a teleseminar about a different approach to marketing.  You get excited and buy that program.

...And you give up on the prior program, maybe a few weeks to a few months into the program because you are impatient with the results.  You believe the new program will give you better and faster results.

Then...a few weeks or months down the road, the new program excitement begins to fade and you are into the work and the feelings of overwhelm that always accompany learning something new begin to creep in...and you move onto the the next

shiny object...

3d human with a red exclamation markThat, my friends, is the "shiny object syndrome."  You are easily distracted and bounce around from project to project, not finishing anything.

You do not finish learning about and executing that new marketing plan or business plan long enough to see the fruits of your labor, so you move onto the next exciting "thing."

So, then you believe that nothing is working for you and you have spent time, money, energy, frustration...and overwhelm and feelings of doubt and failure are the result.

Even though I was fairly successful in business over the last several years, I still found myself being attracted to the next new thing, the next shiny object.

Although I was attracted to the next new thing, I would resist abandoning my project or current activity in order to jump on to the shiny object.

There were times that I would learn about new approaches, new businesses, new marketing ideas, but I would not abandon my current activities.

Only this year did I decide to de-commit from several projects I had been working on and focus exclusively on my recently released book.  Anything that does not fall under the goals of this project get a big fat NO...

Oh, how things have changed in only five months!  Here is what I have done:

  • Picture 16Finished my book's manuscript
  • Designed the cover
  • Self-published
  • Book is now on amazon and barnesandnoble and other bookstores
  • Many online social media marketing channels are launched
  • Website is complete
  • Signed a contract with a JV Broker
  • Finishing the affiliate/JV program
  • In talks about co-hosting a new blogtalkradio show
  • Featured as a keynote speaker (10,000+ audience) on the topics in the book
  • Featured in WE Magazine For Women
  • three press releases published

...and many other exciting things that I am attracting into my life around the philosophies in my book.

I attribute this all to the concepts around the Focused Expansion RuleTM which is all about what it infers...focusing around the feelings of expansion.  The book, "SOS, Success or Sabotage" goes into a lot more detail about how to do this successfully.

Oh...and by the way...shiny object syndrome also is "SOS"  hahahaha!

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com

Getting Back to Basics with the Law of Attraction

When I first learned of the law of attraction, I felt that I knew about it all along, on an intuitive level.  This was exactly what Oprah said when she had the guest panel from the movie "The Secret" on her show, discussing how the law of attraction works. When this came out, there was such a mainstream thrust about the law of attraction.

After a couple of years, so many people began calling it a hoax and that id does not work.

I know there are thousands and thousands of stories out there that prove this law works. The issue that I see coming into play is that many who claim it does not work are not understanding the three steps involved. I have also read so many books and programs that have attempted to address this, to no avail.

I have found that there is a much larger picture involved that has more than the three steps of 1) ask, 2) universe answers, and 3) allow/align. Not many people know what allowing or aligning actually means.

steps-to-law-of-vibrational-theorySince I have been coaching and training entrepreneurs, and developing my own entrepreneurial mindset for the last 25 years, I developed a few additional steps, related concepts and strategies that really address the missing pieces.

I call this the Law of Vibrational Theory and it has seven, not three steps. You can read more about the Law of Vibrational Theory in the book, "SOS, Success Or Sabotage; Transformational Self-Mastery for Entrepreneurs" available in book stores online and across the country.

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com

Problems Faced By Women Entrepreneurs: Establishing Healthy Boundaries

women-entrepreneurs-boundariesWhen I have talked about the differences between the Employee Mindset and the Entrepreneurial Mindset, I have oftentimes encountered my clients who believe they have the entrepreneurial mindset tell me, "I've been so busy with family/life/personal issues, I haven't had time to focus on my business for the past several days."

How many of you feel the same way sometimes?

I hear the silent nod from many of you...yes, I do.

Most of the time, the problem arises when you are working from your home office and have not set healthy boundaries.  The objection is usually that this is the reason you like to work from home...the flexibility.

Yes, but you are still working and you get to honor your work and the time you spend in your work.

women-entrepreneurs-frustratedWhen learning something new and tackling the next phase of your new project, say...a new website.  You find yourself frustrated in this learning curve.  Then, you realize that you have some chores and errands you forgot to run...or...have to run, like...right now.

This is where the "real emergency" or "fake emergency" test comes in.  When this has happened to any of my clients, I ask them, is this a real or fake emergency?

A real emergency is if you were working for a boss and you went to this boss in the middle of your workday and told him/her that you had to go right away to handle it.  If your boss would say that it was OK to leave right then, this would be a real emergency.  If your boss would laugh at you and tell you to get back to work and that your "emergency" can wait until you get off work.

real-and-fake-emergenciesI know that going to get the milk and eggs may seem like a real emergency when you want to escape your frustration, but you get to schedule that in after your work time and work through your frustration of your learning curve. This will help you eliminate the "fake emergencies" and minimize this self-sabotaging behavior.

Yes, I know you work for yourself, however, you get to hold yourself to the same standards in your home office as you would any work environment.  This is part of the true Entrepreneurial Mindset.

This is why it is so important to have a written time management plan and to stick to it.  When you work in the flexibility that you like into your schedule, you can assure yourself that you will also be able to honor the time you set aside for your work.

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com

Problems Faced By Women Entrepreneurs: Low Self Esteem

women-entrepreneurs-low-self-esteemIt doesn't seem like it would be that common, a woman entrepreneur with a low self esteem. It is far too common and perhaps you are struggling with this same issue.

What is low self esteem, anyway? It is an image of low or no value that you hold of yourself. You may feel you will not amount to much and you compare yourself to everyone with feelings that everyone is "better" than you, "prettier" than you, "wealthier" than you, "happier" than you, etc. Self esteem is really about how much you value, appreciate, accept and love yourself.

Low self esteem is established early on in childhood, usually. The doubts about your worth are either reinforced or diminished by your parents, teachers, friends and siblings. No wonder so many struggle.

It took me a very long time to build up my own self esteem. It was all about burying myself in personal development books, spiritual development books and business development books.

A low self esteem is when the "ego" part of us plays tricks with our minds. To define "ego": That part of yourself that recognized the physical self. That's it, nothing else. It is neither good or bad on its own. However, when given a lot of power over your feelings and thought processes, it labels, it categorizes, it heightens or diminishes worth of others and of yourself. Ego is not just about heightened status, it can also be what drives depression, sadness, and even anger.

women-entrepreneurs-spiritualWhen you are comparing yourself to others, you are allowing ego to rule your feelings.

One of the best self affirmations I have used to diminish ego was something I heard from Wayne Dyer:

"We are spirits having a human experience, not humans having occasional spiritual experiences"

When you take your emotions into this realm, you can diminish thoughts of "less than" and eliminate the comparisons you make of yourself to others.  It takes regular and consistent awareness of your own self talk, but this can be done.

Keep "playing" (I do not like the word "work") at this and begin to love your life and remember, its OK to not be OK sometimes, but it does not mean that you are not lovable.

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com

Problems Faced By Women Entrepreneurs: Your Definition of Success

women-entrepreneurs-dream-visionboardI have had many a client come to me and talk about all their dreams and desires and everything they want in life.  We would develop and go over their "bucket list" of achievements, have them create a vision board with pictures they would print from online or cut out from magazines and then we would begin to create a plan around this initial work.  I use and teach the Law of Vibrational TheoryTM to do this.

Some of my clients would have an overflowing board, some would struggle to fill up their board.  For me, I struggle to fill up my board.  I felt so much pressure to add so many material things to it.  I started to explore this pressure to determine its source.

What I found out was that the pressure to accumulate possessions was an external pressure I accepted and internalized.  The pressure from society to show off my fortunes and have the "rich" status symbols was the source.  Some of it I wanted, some of it I did not.

visionboardMy vision board is now more predominantly about improving relationships.  Yes, there are monetary goals and a few possessions, however, those possessions are going to be used to create memories and to create experiences to enrich life with my loved ones and with my clients.

There are times that I want a specific item and I will put that item up on my vision board, but I have found that my internal motivations are not so much about accumulating material possessions.  They are more about improving relationships and being of service.  The monetary gains follow.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to accumulate material possessions and have status symbols.  I still have one possession on my board that is a status symbol that, once obtained, I will view it as a reward for accomplishing a certain benchmark.  This is about having fun with the money!

women-entrepreneur-soul-searchI always encourage my clients to dig deep and really discover what their internal motivations are and their internal drives.  I also help them define what the external drives might be and discover if they are in harmony with what they truly want in life.  Oftentimes, they have found that both external and internal motivations do not harmonize.  Once adjusted, it is much easier to create a vision board and a plan around what you truly want in life, not what is expected of you from others or society.

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com

Problems Faced By Women Entrepreneurs: FEAR

women entrepreneurs fearsFear is a big problem to address for women entrepreneurs. There are many fears that my clients have faced over the years and that I have also experienced and faced.  Sometimes you have fears that you haven't even faced, and this can be difficult to work through.

There is the fear of loss, the fear of success (which is very much akin to the fear of loss), fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of the unknown, and other fears. I have found that they all tie into and are a part of the fear of loss. For example, if you become successful, you fear the loss of that success. When you think or visualize what it would be like to become successful, you fear the loss of it.

We get to dig down deep and find out, what IS fear, anyway? As I looked up the definition at dictionary.com, this is what I found:

"Fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid"

So, fear is an emotion.

women-entrepreneurs-thought-processes-fearWhat I have found is that emotions are dependent on our thought processes.  Thoughs dictate our emotions.  We have the ability to guide, change and even control our thoughts.  Thoughts are also guided by our perceptions and if we change our perceptions, we change our thoughts, therefore we change and can eliminate fear.

Fear is derived from having doubts around the 4 "itty" words and if you work through your doubts, you can then change your perceptions and thoughts that are generating the emotion of fear.  Once you eliminate your doubts, your fears melt away and nothing can stop you!

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com

Problems Faced By Women Entrepreneurs: Finding Your Voice and Branding

problems-faced-by-women-entrepreneurs-finding-voice-brandingIt has taken me over 16 years to really find my "voice."  Some of you may be struggling with this elusive concept of "finding your voice."  This takes some time and self exploration in order to identify who you are and the message you want to attach to your business and essentially to yourself.

But, what does it mean to find your voice?  It means to seek from within yourself that which is unique and the "why" behind your potential passions in life.  If you do not know what your passions are, then you are in for a journey of self-discovery.  There are many questions you can ask yourself to explore this.  I was reading an article that has many questions found here:  http://www.accidentalcreative.com/creating/10-questions-that-will-help-you-find-your-voice/

This article goes over 10 questions you can ask yourself in order to dig deep into self discovery.  I also recommend that you take a good couple of hours and break out your journal.  If you do not have a journal...START ONE RIGHT NOW.  Get a 3-ring binder and add paper.  Date it at the top.  You have now started your journal.  Keeping a daily journal for the rest of your life will accelerate your business and personal growth exponentially.  It is vital and critical for accelerated success in your life.

Then, go to the article and begin to explore and start to create your vision of your life and find your voice.  Once you find your voice, you will begin to refine it.  This is OK, let the evolution of your voice happen.  This is the beginning of branding your image and your business.

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com
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Problems Faced By Women Entrepreneurs: Lack of Support Network

women entrepreneurs and setting goals to get a support networkRecently in a conversation with my marketing coordinator, Stacie, we talked about setting goals and achieving them.  When discussing my goals and related tasks with her and how we might be able to work together to make them happen, she interjected a surprising fact.

She admired and was even envious of how my husband supported everything I have done and want to do in building this business of mine.  She enlightened me in how so many of her girlfriends have husbands and boyfriends who do not support their dreams.

I found myself feeling blessed andvery fortunate to have a husband that supports and helps me grow my business!  My family is also on board with positive statements and love all around in support of what I do.

Women entrepreneur groupsIn my book, "SOS," I talk about how this has not always been my perception of my family while growing up and in my 20's.  I felt and feared my family would degrade my efforts and criticize my dreams, so I never shared them.  I just took action and shared my successes after the fact.  This can be a very lonely time for someone such as yourself who may perceive a lack of support.

What I suggest and recommend is to join offline and online groups that you know are going through the same types of problems.  There are facebook groups, linkedin groups, online forums such as WAHM.com (Work At Home Moms).  Find some that are related to your business and find your support in an external area.

How many of you out there find this lack of support from your husband or loved ones?  Share your feelings and thoughts below.

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com

Problems Faced by Women Entrepreneurs: Finding Time

women entrepreneurs finding timeWith as busy as we are, tending to our business, family, chores, exercise, paying bills, spring cleaning, etc., it's hard to find time to fit everything in that is important...or is it?

Do we as women make excuses and make it seem like we have to do it all?  Why does that seem so different to what men do?  Do we over extend our abilities to finish our daily and weekly tasks and goals?  Do we do this so we can get recognition for what it is we DO accomplish?

I have not felt as if what I do is any different or more important than what my husband does.  It is up to us to ASK for assistance in completing chores or paying the bills or helping with the spring cleaning.

If you are a single woman entrepreneur or single mother living by yourself, you have the bulk of the work square on your shoulders, but there are still solutions to assist you in striking a healthy balance between working your business and enjoying your leisure time.

Ask yourself, how much is your time worth, on an hourly basis?  Would it be $30/hr.? $280/hr.? $1,497/hr.?  Ok, even if you determined your hourly worth at $20/hr., where would that hour be best spent?  Working and growing your business, right?

women entrepreneurs hiring out houseworkSo, why would you spend that hour doing the dishes and mopping the kitchen floor?  Could you hire that out once a week to a housekeeping service at $8/hr. and re-direct your time towards a more profitable hour for yourself?

Now, the trick is to ensure that the hour you free up by "outsourcing" daily or weekly tasks is actually used optimally to grow your business and create more profit.  Do not use that hour for mundane busy work.

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com

Problems Faced By Women Entrepreneurs: Self Sabotage vs. Self Mastery

As women, we can tend to self sabotage in many areas of our lives because we want to do it all and think we actually can AND without any help.

Success illusion: Do you see an old woman or a young woman?

Old woman or a young lady?

This is such an illusion that can undermine your efforts to create and manifest the success you desire.

As a woman, I want success in business, love, marriage, relationships with my sons, my Mother, my body, spiritually and I want it all NOW!

The employee mindset has conditioned us to actually become impatient with the process of manifesting, which takes focus.  Focus on the next goal and not create too many goals all at once.  This is a self-sabotaging behavior.

Focus...and add emotional energy to that focus, on one goal at a time.  If you try to work on too many goals at once, you will delay your progress and create even more frustration for yourself, which is another self-sabotaging behavior.

Here is a scenario to help you understand what focus really means.

Self Mastery requires focus and singular goal settingLet's say you have a bow and arrow and you have three red and white targets.  Can you focus on all three at the same time and expect to hit the bullseye on each of them all at once?

Probably not!

Those three targets are still there, but focus on one with all your energy, concentrate and remain still, you will most likely get a bullseye after some practice and a few shots.

This is the same thing with focusing on a goal you establish for yourself.  Once you sharpen your skills at focusing and getting that bullseye consistently, then you can begin to add to your goals and achieve them much more quickly.

This is beginning the process of self mastery.

Katheryn L. Olsen
"Coach Kat"
Self-Mastery Coach for Entrepreneurs
Transformational Public Speaker
http://www.SuccessOrSabotage.com